I literally just spent the last three hours tearing my entire closet apart. You know those random Tuesday cleaning bursts where you just decide to ruin your perfectly clean room and make a giant mountain of clothes on your bed? Yeah, that was me today. But honestly it was totally worth it.
While I was digging through the back of my closet, I found some things. Things that honestly made me question who I even was a few years ago. I am talking about clothes that made me cringe so hard my soul briefly left my body. We all have those phases, right? But it actually got me thinking about all the money I wasted and the outfits that just didn’t make me feel like the confident 25 year old I am trying to be.
Me and my cousins were just laughing about this the other day at a family dinner. We were looking at old pictures and I was like, who let me leave the house looking like a walking disco ball? It is so funny how we think we are doing something so amazing, and then a few years pass and you realize you were just a walking fashion disaster. But you know what? That is how we learn.
So, I wanted to sit down and just spill it all out for you. Because if I can save you from making the same exact mistakes I made, then my embarrassing fashion history is totally worth it. Let’s get right into my biggest fashion mistakes and exactly what you should do instead.
1. Shopping for My “Fantasy Self” Instead of My Actual Life
Okay, this is probably the biggest one. For years, I would go to the mall or scroll online and buy things for a girl who literally did not exist. I would buy these gorgeous, crazy uncomfortable stiletto heels and velvet blazers. I was buying clothes for a girl who went to fancy cocktail parties every weekend and drank martinis on a rooftop.
Spoiler alert – I am a girl who works from home, goes to the grocery store, hangs out at my favorite coffee shop, and goes to the movies. My actual life does not require a sequin mini dress on a random Thursday.
I distinctly remember buying this incredibly structured, neon green leather trench coat. It cost me like two weeks of pay from my old barista job. I thought I was going to wear it to all these cool art gallery openings. I wore it exactly once to grab tacos with my bestie, I spilled salsa on the sleeve, and it was so stiff I couldn’t even bend my arms to eat my burrito properly. It sat in my closet for three years mocking me until I finally sold it online for a fraction of what I paid.
What to do instead: Look at your calendar, not your Pinterest board. Figure out what you actually do 80% of the time. If you work in an office, invest in amazing trousers and comfortable loafers. If you are a student or work from home, buy high quality basics, great denim, and cool sneakers. It is so much better to have a closet full of clothes you actually wear every single day than a closet full of “someday” clothes that just collect dust.
2. Ignoring Proportions (The “Big on Big” Disaster)
For a minute there, I was super into the oversized trend. And don’t get me wrong, I still love a baggy look. But I used to just wear everything huge all at once. An oversized hoodie, with oversized wide leg jeans, and chunky dad shoes. I am not super tall, so I literally looked like a toddler playing dress up in my dad’s clothes.
I thought I looked so effortless and street style ready. But looking back at photos, I just looked like a giant rectangle. My shape was completely gone and it honestly just made me look messy instead of cool.
What to do instead: It is all about the rule of opposites, babe. If you are going big on the bottom, go a little more fitted on the top. If you are wearing a massive, cozy sweater, pair it with a straight leg jean or a skirt that shows some leg. You have to balance it out. If you do want to wear baggy on baggy, you absolutely have to show some skin somewhere – like rolling up the sleeves to show your wrists, or wearing a crop top under an unbuttoned oversized shirt. It gives your body some definition back so you don’t look like you are drowning in fabric.
3. Buying Cheap Trendy Jewelry Instead of Heritage Pieces
Oh man, the amount of money I spent on cheap, fast fashion jewelry that turned my fingers green… it is honestly shameful. I used to buy those packs of 15 rings for like ten bucks. I thought I was being so smart and saving money. But they would tarnish after two days, snap in half, or leave weird gray marks all over my skin.
It wasn’t until my auntie gifted me this heavy, gorgeous silver and turquoise cuff for my 21st birthday that I really understood. That bracelet is part of who I am now. It feels substantial. It tells a story, you know? It connects me to my roots and it never ever goes out of style.
I was at this networking event a few years ago trying to look super professional. I had all this cheap gold-plated jewelry on. Halfway through the night, I went to the bathroom and realized my neck was literally turning a weird shade of swamp green where my necklace was sitting. I had to take it all off and shove it in my purse, and I felt so awkward the rest of the night.
What to do instead: Stop buying the cheap stuff! Seriously, save up that twenty bucks a week and buy one piece of real jewelry. Whether it is sterling silver, gold filled, or an authentic piece from an Indigenous artist. One solid, beautiful ring or necklace that you can wear in the shower and sleep in is worth a hundred cheap rings that end up in a landfill. Plus, it just elevates your entire outfit. Even a basic white tee looks expensive if you have good jewelry on.
4. Squeezing into the Wrong Size Because of the Tag
This is something I feel like we all struggle with, and it is so toxic. I used to refuse to buy anything larger than a size medium. If a medium didn’t fit, I would just squeeze myself into it anyway and be miserable all day. I would have red lines on my waist from my jeans, and my shirts would be pulling at the buttons.
I was so attached to a number on a tag that nobody else could even see. Why do we do that to ourselves? It is literally just a piece of fabric.
What to do instead: Buy the size that actually fits your body right now. Not the size you used to be, and not the size you want to be. The clothes are supposed to fit you, you are not supposed to fit the clothes. If you are trying something on and it feels tight, size up. Nobody cares what the tag says. Honestly, clothes that are slightly looser actually make you look leaner and more relaxed anyway. If the number really bothers you, do what I do – cut the tag out as soon as you get home. Problem solved!
5. Wearing All Neutral Colors Out of Fear
There was a solid three year period where if you looked in my closet, it looked like a black and white movie. Black, white, gray, beige. That was it. I told myself it was because I loved a “minimalist aesthetic.” But if I am being really honest with you, it was just because I was scared of getting it wrong.
I didn’t know how to match colors, so I just avoided them completely. I thought wearing black made me look invisible and safe. But I am an energetic, loud, happy person! My clothes completely didn’t match my personality. I was hiding.
What to do instead: You do not have to suddenly wear head to toe neon pink. Start super small. If you are wearing an all black outfit, add a bright red bag. Or some cool green sneakers. Find out what your “power color” is. For me, it is a deep terracotta orange. Whenever I wear it, I swear my skin glows and I just feel more alive. Start adding just a pop of color to your safe outfits, and I promise you will start having so much more fun getting dressed in the morning.
6. Skipping the Tailor (Or the Hemming Tape)
I am pretty average height, but for some reason, pants are always just like two inches too long for me. For the longest time, I would just let my jeans drag on the floor. The bottoms would get completely shredded and covered in dirt from the street.
I thought tailoring was just for rich people in movies or for wedding dresses. I didn’t realize that bringing a pair of pants to the dry cleaner down the street to get hemmed costs like fifteen bucks. I was ruining fifty dollar jeans because I didn’t want to spend fifteen dollars to make them fit my body.
I once wore these super cute flare jeans on a rainy day in Seattle. Because they were too long, they soaked up puddle water like a sponge. By the time I got to the cafe to meet my friend, the bottom half of my legs were freezing cold and soaking wet. I was shivering the whole time and squishing when I walked. Never again.
What to do instead: Find a local tailor or dry cleaner that does simple alterations. If a pair of pants fits your waist perfectly but is too long, buy them and get them hemmed. It completely changes the way your clothes look. You instantly look more put together and expensive. If you are on a super tight budget, go to the craft store and buy some iron-on hemming tape. You can literally fold the pants up inside, iron them, and boom. Custom fit pants in five minutes.
7. Letting TikTok Dictate My Personal Style
Okay, we have to talk about the trend cycle right now. It is exhausting. Mob wife aesthetic, clean girl aesthetic, cottage core, whatever-core. A while back I found myself completely losing my own identity because I was just copying whatever the algorithm fed me.
I bought all these slicked back hair gels and tiny gold hoops trying to be a “clean girl” when my natural vibe is much more textured, a little bit messy, and bold. I spent so much money trying to keep up with trends that lasted exactly three weeks. It is such a fast track to feeling insecure and broke.
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And as you know, I seriously love seeing your takes on the looks and ideas on here - that means the world to me! If you recreate something, please share it here in the comments or feel free to send me a pic. I'm always excited to meet y'all! ✨🤍
Xoxo Frida
